I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. New updates every week.
Jr, age 7
"Go ahead, play a lick on my purple guitar." This guitar doesn't wail, it throbs.
Sadie, age 6
Idiot.
Hatemail:

Date: Mon, Sep 26, 2011
From: Kevin S
To: maddox
Subject: WhAt is the point

Why are you criticizing CHILDREN'S art work......what is the point of that?

I responded with one sentence: "To make them better." He replied:
Oh... I guess that makes sense.
No shit? If you praise kids for their shitty output, you'll always get shitty output.
Robert, age 7
Were Obama's ties to Bill Ayers deeper than suspected? Was Obama a gay black man who rode a hermaphroditic dinosaur, as evidenced by this child's drawing? Conspiracy dipshits, do your thing!
Hatemail:

Date: Mon, Sep 26, 2011
From: Randy
To: maddox
Subject: RE: Coward

Whoever you are, your a menance to healthy development in children:

You are an arrogant, very lonely, fat old man, never having been married, and without friends. Why can't you face off with cowards like yourself? stop verbally abusing our kids and putting their images on the internet. They're our future, and tomorrow's most valuable resource.

you are right up there with Hitler, who destroyed thousands of kid's lives by taking out their parents in concentration camps; there's no place in the world for shit piles like you.

Hitler, the most notorious dictator in history, was responsible for the murder of millions of innocent people. So you're saying he's morally equivalent to a guy who grades crappy children's artwork, right dipshit? While I may have dissuaded a few untalented kids from pursuing a talent they don't have, you have helped ruin the concept of hyperbole for all of society. It's comments like yours that makes it hard for people to exaggerate effectively anymore because everything in the world comes down to GOOD or BAD. Einstein or Hitler.

If something is bad, it's Hitler. And if something is good, it's Einstein. For example, vegetarians argue that Einstein was a vegetarian, therefore being a vegetarian must be right. And opponents of vegetarianism point out that Hitler was a vegetarian, and therefore wrong. The tacit assumption is that Einstein was a genius, therefore everything he ever did was smart and right, and Hitler was evil, so anything he ever did was dumb and wrong. So if something or someone is bad, be it a person who disagrees with you politically, or someone grading children's artwork, you take it to the extreme of all things bad and simply call him Hitler. Not everyone is Hitler, douche bitch. How about a little moderation? Why don't you start with comparing me to a critic who's slightly more favorable than Hitler? Like anyone.

And for the record, I'm not the one posting children's artwork on the Internet. The parents are the ones beaming with pride over the turds their little monsters produce, not me. If you don't want your work criticized, then don't send it to me, dumbass.

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