Here are the trending posts, updated daily:
Kadan, age 6
It looks like you tried to draw an apple, accidentally drew a heart and tried to fix it (lazily) with a label.

Van Gogh didn't have to label anything:

Know why? Because he didn't suck dick at art.

Saul, age 5
Caption Contest Winner:

There aren't many things that could make a dad wish he wouldn't live to see his next birthday, but this is one of them.
-William Bermudez

Honorable mentions:

Upon receiving this gift, what more could Saul's dad have wanted on this auspicious "Bers day?" A vasectomy 5 years ago. -Rhys Mucik

Boners Day is a sacred holiday, and you have ruined it by misspelling boners.
-Area Man

It's a dick on a dick: dickception. -Andrew Steven Hodge

Congratulations to William, he will be receiving a signed copy of "Crappy Children's Art:"
Waiting to buy the hardcover of "I am better than your kids"? Not sure if you have the mental fortitude, richness in character or wisdom to buy my critical masterpiece? Well you're gonna be shit out of luck, because the paperback version is coming out Tuesday, November 20th with a new title and a new cover. Why? Fuck if I know, but it's awesome. Now you get to see the face of underachievement. If you already own two or more copies of it in hardcover and want another copy in paperback just to lord over your less fortunate friends and family, or just prefer the flipability1 of a paperback, then this is for you. Also, it's cheaper:

To kick things off, I'm going to hold a number of caption contests, the winner of which will get a signed & personalized copy of the new book, plus a signed "book plate" which is just a huge sticker of me flipping you off. I'm being totally impartial when I say it's boss.

1. Not a word

Caption contest:

Simply write your caption in the comments section below, and the comment with the most "likes" by Friday, November 16th [UPDATE: This caption contest is over, stay tuned for others] will most likely win—though I will have final say, because sometimes you idiots like things that are stupid and I might think another caption fits better. So even if you don't think you can win, I'll still personally read all the captions to choose one.

Lee, age 8
Aww... poor guy got all tuckered out after enslaving the Native Americans, looting their gold and spreading syphilis to the indigenous people.

So he did what any red-blooded American would do: get blackout drunk, put on women's clothing, and pass out in a puddle of his own piss after a rough night of celebrating.

Amber, age 5
The assignment was to draw a leprechaun holding his pot. You drew a turtle with a red dildo in its mouth. If you turned this in at law school, you'd get disbarred for life.
Cecilia, age 80
This was supposed to be a restoration of a 19th-century fresco called "Ecce Homo," or "behold the man," depicting Jesus:

Instead, Cecilia painted a bird-like Jesus wearing a Russian ushanka hat with chin strap, beak-nose, beady Gibbon-like eyes and a smeared whore-mouth.

As if being nailed to a cross wasn't bad enough, now Jesus apparently has to contend with a fat neck and the wrath of an 80-year-old Spaniard with too much time on her hands and an inflated sense of her artistic ability.

And yes, this is real.

Henry, age 8
This year instead of a normal birthday card, Henry decided to spruce things up with a death threat. Enjoy juvie, you psychotic little shit.
Ryan, age 12
I'm not sure what the name "John Lennon" has anything to do with your drawing, seeing as who you've drawn is Alan Ruck from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off:"

Unless John Lennon had a giraffe-like neck, lazy eye and looked slightly Asian, you should erase this whole drawing and start over.

Braxton, age 6
You can be anything you want, Braxton. Maybe some day you'll grow up to suck your own dick. Dream big.
Carolyne, age 7
Well, I can't say I disagree: even my cock doesn't have a smiley face, two heads and a body with limbs holding a painter's palette.

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