I am Maddox, a computer programmer, writer and author. I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. I'll be assigning a grade of A through F for each piece:
Cecilia, age 80
This was supposed to be a restoration of a 19th-century fresco called "Ecce Homo," or "behold the man," depicting Jesus:

Instead, Cecilia painted a bird-like Jesus wearing a Russian ushanka hat with chin strap, beak-nose, beady Gibbon-like eyes and a smeared whore-mouth.

As if being nailed to a cross wasn't bad enough, now Jesus apparently has to contend with a fat neck and the wrath of an 80-year-old Spaniard with too much time on her hands and an inflated sense of her artistic ability.

And yes, this is real.

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