I am Maddox, a computer programmer, writer and author. I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. I'll be assigning a grade of A through F for each piece:
Katherine, age 8
Great job, Katherine. Your sister Charlotte should probably get that jutting elbow looked at. And while she's at it, the hundreds of small gashes in her body probably can't be good for her health.

"Thanks for the birthday gift, Katherine. Just what I always wanted: a picture of me being a crabby old bitch."

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