I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. New updates every week.
Callie, age 6
Callie, at this point in life, most people have already begun to realize that the saying, "you can grow up to be anything you want," is a crock of shit.

Good luck becoming a store, dumbass.

Ashanta, age 5
This one's been floating around on the Internet for a while now, and it's the perfect embodiment of Dr. King's vision for racial unity in America. Perhaps some day little girls everywhere will get a chance to work at Taco Bell with their mamas. Until then, we, as a people, have a lot of work to do. Greasy, taco-making work.
Katherine, age 8
Great job, Katherine. Your sister Charlotte should probably get that jutting elbow looked at. And while she's at it, the hundreds of small gashes in her body probably can't be good for her health.

"Thanks for the birthday gift, Katherine. Just what I always wanted: a picture of me being a crabby old bitch."

Dan, age 7
Ah yes, who can forget the classic Penn State logo: a bloated, depressed whale with its mouth open? Looks just like the real thing:

Keep it up Dan. You'll be a tight end at Penn State in no time.

Backstory for anyone who doesn't know.

Olivia, age 3
Proof positive that political correctness has gone too far: these are the most ethnically diverse set of dicks I've ever seen. You've got sizeable brown and black dongs, but then you seem to be making a very controversial statement about race and penis size with the yellow. Just who's that supposed to represent?

Potential racism aside, what do you honestly expect your parents to do with this? You think they're going to take it home and hang it on the fridge so they can see a docket of dongs every time they want to snack on lunch meat? On second thought... maybe.


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