I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. New updates every week.
Jared, age 5
Well, for a piece titled "I can wipe myself," you've clearly proven your point by wiping your ass with this canvas.
Ryan, age 2
Yeah, fuck it Ryan. You dragged the pen across the paper. Good enough. Our forefathers put their blood, sweat and tears into making this country, but you can't be bothered to color in a few stripes.

You're Ryan: a two-year-old who's got shit to do. You don't have time to color. You've got naps to take and crayons to eat.

Hell, this isn't even our current flag. You got the short-bus version with 13 stars and 5 stripes, and you still couldn't manage to color in even one stripe. Go to hell.

Kamryn, age 5
This is objectively and verifiably a piece of shit. But what's confusing is that you finished the body of whatever the fuck that scribbly crap is, then decided to add that white piece of paper on top.

Somewhere in the rain forest, there's a tribe missing a tree that you wasted on this. You should feel bad about yourself.

Caly, age 7
I don't know what "pissa" is, but it sounds like urine is the primary ingredient. And by the looks of that large black mass on your pissa, you won't have to wait long to die.
Hector, age 22
You were off by 1, so the binomial expansion should be:

-x2 -3x - 5, not -x2 -2x - 5

Making the solution:

x = ± ½i (√11 + 3i), not -1 -2i

Fucking idiot.

Also, shitty unicorn.


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