I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. New updates every week.
Chris, age 18

Title: "Muhammad Ali Ejaculating"
Artist: Chris, age 18
Medium: Charcoal, pencil

This depiction of Muhammad Ali is the not-so-young artist's interpretation of the former boxing champion in a state of angry arousal. The artist's choice to draw one pupil misappropriately larger than the other during climax suggests that the artist has, in fact, never had sex. And apparently neither has Muhammad Ali, based on the strained war-cry-like expression when he nuts.

Kenny, age 13
Kenny, this is so stupid that it gives me heart murmurs. Where would your "Merpanda" even live?

In the forest, its aquatic fish tail would get scraped, cut and bruised while being dragged along jagged rocks.

And in sea, the strength of the bear's forearms—used for climbing trees and foraging for food—would be utterly useless. But you know all about being useless, don't you Kenny?

Kelsey, age 7
Wow, what a great drawing of an alien spacecraft. Keep it up!
Lee, age 8
Aww... poor guy got all tuckered out after enslaving the Native Americans, looting their gold and spreading syphilis to the indigenous people.

So he did what any red-blooded American would do: get blackout drunk, put on women's clothing, and pass out in a puddle of his own piss after a rough night of celebrating.

Logan, age 7
You're not cute, that isn't you and you probably aren't a girl―unless Logan became a popular name for girls overnight.

PS: It didn't.


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